Java's last photo
It's funny how a little animal can change your life. They become part of you. More than just an amusement, they steal your heart, inspire your soul, move you to be a better, kinder and more loving person. They ask little in return, but to be loved, to win your attention and approval. They protect you and show you a loyalty that humans never could. While they play games, they're the good kind.
After the roughest of days, you can come home and know they are happy to see you, and care about you. It doesn't matter if you're young or old, handsome, beautiful or ugly. As long as you show love and kindness to them, they will give it back to you by orders of magnitude. They teach you how to laugh, how to not take yourself so seriously, how to take time from what you're doing to just stop and look at the world around you. They show you how to imagine again, as if you were a child, and how to see the most insignificant little things as the big things they really are.
We grow up too fast. We become too self-involved, too focused to notice the world around us. We stop looking at the clouds, or seeing the wonder in a wad of crumpled paper. We stop imagining and seeing how big and wonderful the world really is. Maybe that's why we need a little friend to put things back into perspective. To help us see the beauty in stopping to just play for the sake of it. To help us stop drinking coffee and see the benefits of curling into a ball and taking a restful nap.
Java, my little kitty, the love of my life, taught me all that and much more. For 16 years, she was our benevolent dictator, the Supreme Ruler of the Known Universe, our four-footed comedienne, and the best friend we ever had. On Monday, with great sorrow, we had to bid her farewell. With incredible speed, stomach cancer consumed her, and in but the span of three weeks, she lost 40 percent of her body weight. We were astonished at the change that took place, and devastated that we could do nothing to stop it.
Perhaps I should tell myself she was just a cat. I cannot. Java was much more to us, and losing her has shattered me in ways I could never imagine. Maybe it was because animals don't get to vote. They do as they are told. They have to oblige our whims, and we get to play God.
That is what we had to do on Monday, and while saying goodbye was the only humane option and the right thing to do in order to stop her pain, I will forever feel terrible that I was forced to make that decision. In her final hours with us, we were blessed that we could let Java lay by her favorite window, listening to the birds she loved as they called to her, and feel the Pacific Ocean breeze one last time. It meant everything to us that we could spend the time together, stroking her, and telling her how much we loved her. I will always remember that, sad though I am now.
Java was the greatest gift we ever had. As a kitten, she was a caffeinated bundle of atomic energy, able to leap to impossible heights. She was the smartest cat I ever knew. She didn't merely have instincts. Java could reason. When she wanted attention, she would jump and flick on a light switch, even if it was to wake us up in the wee hours for late night play. Watching us, Java learned to at least attempt to open door knobs, and if she'd had the chance, she would probably have learned to drive. Java knew when we needed comfort, how to cool our heads down if we were angry, how to make us stop from worrying and focus on her. Java didn’t just look at you - she looked deep into your soul. She had a magic about her that I cannot adequately describe. I just know that I have never met anyone or anything like her.
I am sad beyond words. But I know how lucky I am to have had Java in my life. I wish she could have been forever, but our memories of Java will certainly be. Last night, my wife and I took a walk, and looking up, we saw a star twinkling at us where other stars were placid, just to the right of Jupiter. We know it's Java. Her suffering is over, having crossed the rainbow bridge. My tears probably won't dry for a while, but I realize that I am blessed for feeling so deeply. To not know and love an animal, to not have such feelings is to miss a wonderful experience.
Goodbye, Java. Goodbye, little friend. We will miss you more than you can ever imagine. Thank you for the love and joy you gave us every day.
Below are some photos of Java through her life. I hope they will make you think of little friends you have known and loved. Thank you for being our friend.
Java's Dad
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| Hiding. Java loved to play & sleep in warm sheets. |
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| Baby Java- playing with her beloved straw. |
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| Java working on her graphics & menus for the PawPawties. |
